“A towel, [The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
May 25th is Towel Day. Those of you who understand the notions of “Don’t Panic,” and “Mostly Harmless,” probably already know this … or, can — at least — appreciate it. The rest of you might need an explanation.
Ok, n00bs, let me Google that for you: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Wikipedia.
Now that’s sorted.
The rest of you Hoopy Froods get it; therefore, you are at this moment trying to figure out how to work a towel into your workday wardrobe for tomorrow. Or, at the very least, your mind is boggling to find the Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Towel Day: “How can I show my participation in Douglas Adams Fandom?”
Here in Western New York, that’s been handled for you! The Kenilworth Library at 318 Montrose Avenue in Town of Tonawanda has their 3rd Annual Towel Day Celebration slated for noon tomorrow. To quote:
“The finest Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy themed display that $42 dollars can provide showcasing a more than adequate array of Douglas Adams themed memorabilia. Complimentary emergency towels provided, in case you don’t know where you left yours. Many confused looks from the unsuspecting public. Whether you are a Douglas Adams fan, fan of unusual holidays, or a fan of pieces of thick absorbent cloth or paper used for drying oneself or wiping things dry, we invite you to come to the Kenilworth Library (also known as “The Library at the end of the Universe” ((OK, not really…just trying to carry the theme there)) and see if you can flag down a Vogon Constructor Fleet before it’s too late.”
Honestly, this has me grinning with childish glee. The Kenilworth Branch’s Event is the FIRST ONE listed on the TowelDay.org list of events in New York State. There are others worldwide, sure. But Kenilworth is numero uno for NYS. Dig it.
More like Marvin than Zaphod? Less actual interaction better? Try the Vogon Poetry Slam hosted online and IRL by Lofty Pursuits in Talahassee, Fla. There are two categories for entries: “I am standing in Lofty Pursuits” and “I cant come to Tallahassee so I’m entering on-line”
A significant number of haiku submitted may lead to a third category. Guess what category.
Rules are as follows: “The worst original poem will win as judged by us. No appeal is possible.” Suggestions include: “Short poems have a better chance of making the cut to be read and judged; longer poems have a better chance of burning longer to start that evening’s bonfire.”
Poetry submission to Lofty Pursuits are due by midnight tonight. Bad poems shouldn’t take too long, so get on it, already. Send ‘em to vogon@pd.net
Less poetic than gamey? For Towel Day 2016, Stagadooch Games have released a version of Survive 42! for Android devices, downloadable here.
TowelDay.org has an exhaustive list of cool things to be had as you wield your terrycloth savior. Seriously exhaustive. I’m wiped out just reading it. Time to curl up under my towel for a snooze.
Stay Hoopy, and remember:
“More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might have accidentally ‘lost.’ What the strag will think is that any man that can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Helen Bach is a returned WNY expatriate, now a Buffalo resident. She has 3 adult-sized kids, 1 wiggle-sized dog and a scintillating career dramatically unrelated to journalism.
